Restorative Niches

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Quiet.  The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain

Quiet. by Susan Cain.  I’m currently reading this book, and it interests me a lot.  It explores the differences between introverts and extroverts and explores deeper into these two personality types and how to best function if you’re an introvert or an extrovert.  It has shed a lot of light on why I behave and feel the way I do.  As you can probably guess, I consider myself an introvert.  This book has helped me understand myself better and accept and appreciate myself even more.

There are a lot of insights that struck me culled from research and scientific tests and studies done over the years on personality psychology.  One I’d like to share with you is the following:

Restorative Niches

I’m sure this is not new to many of you.     We all need time out, from the world, every now and then.  Some time to be alone and to hear ourselves think. To feel ourselves breathe. To feel that we are alive and not just moving from one activity and event after another at a frenetic pace.  This is especially important for introverts who tend to be overwhelmed by stimulation and can feel drained of energy from social events. Some introverts who are successful and seem socially at ease with crowds and public speaking often cope by having restorative niches.

The book talks about a highly popular university professor and lecturer whose classes are always full, with waiting lists, and whose lectures and seminars are jam-packed.  The hallway of his office is always lined with students waiting to consult with him.  This professor is an avowed introvert and he spends the time before his speeches and lectures in a bathroom stall, where he is able to find time alone, reflect and energize for his upcoming talk.  When he was invited to do a series of lectures in a university overseas, he was asked to spend lunches with high-ranking people just before his lectures.  He was dismayed and to get out of the situation and be able to have his restorative niche, he asked if he could be excused from the lunches as he was an avid admirer or ship design and would like to take the opportunity of his visit to “admire the boats passing by on the Richielieu River.”  This allowed him to spend his lunch hour strolling up and down the river pathway and have his much needed time alone to recharge.

According to this professor, “Restorative niche” is a ““term for the places you go when you want to return to your true self.  It can be a physical place, like the path beside the Richelieu river, or a temporal one, like the quiet breaks you plan between sales calls. It can mean canceling your social plans on the weekend before a big meeting at work, practicing yoga or meditation, or choosing email over an in-person meeting.”

 Next time, I’ll share with you a key idea on how introverts are able to cope and become successful in highly social (and for introverts, this can equate to stressful) environments.

My Journey: Step 3 — Taking Baby Steps

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
– Eleanor Roosevelt 


June 20, 2011 – Monday

Breakfast:  1 c. muesli with soya milk, 1 c. hot chocloate wth Lifestream’s Ultimate Greens

Lunch:  1 c. cream of mushroom soup, small tenderloin steak with porcini mushroom sauce, 1/3 c. mashed potatoes, 1 c. boiled vegetables,  1 small slice tiramisu, ginger ale

Dinner:   leftover Fusilli in tomato sauce with sardines and sweet corn kernels from Saturday; apple banana orange smoothie made with yogurt and soya milk, no sugar

Physical Activity:  15 minutes walking

Medication:  Yes

Sleep:  6 hours

Positive Thoughts:  A fresh start to a fresh week!

Blood Pressure:  AM:  I forgot to take it    PM:  155/96

It’s  the first day of a fresh work week!  Well, I must have been sleeping so soundly asleep because I did not wake up to my alarm clock.  It was a good thing my daughter woke up at 6:45AM on her own and woke me up.  Or else, I might have slept until who knows what time!  Since I was kinda jolted into wakefulness, I totally forgot to take my  morning blood pressure, which I’m supposed to take as soon as I wake up.  Despite not waking up at  6:00 AM as I had planned (I wanted to get in some morning meditation and fix myself a nice, fruit smoothie but I got to make it in the evening instead which wasn’t so bad), I did not let it get to me and I just calmly went about preparing for work and making sure I ate a healthy breakfast.  I am trying to be more adaptable to situations I might find myself in.  As an almost obsessive-compulsive person, I have a tendency to get into a fluster when things do not go as I had originally planned.  I made it my intent today that nothing will set me off in spite of things that might go wrong.

I guess because of this positive and go-with-the-flow attitude I was having at the beginning of the day, it turned out to be a relaxing morning in the classroom.  I was determined to continue to be relaxed and not be affected by any stress or pressure at all from work today.  In the afternoon, as my students took a nap, I was able to catch up on some emails.  It is so heartwarming to receive so many replies from an email update I sent to practically everyone I know who I haven’t been in touch with for quite a while!  I resolve to continue to keep in touch with these people and nurture my friendship with them!  I firmly believe that relationships are crucial to living a healthy, fulfilling, and meaningful life.  By relationships, I mean relationships that are loving and harmonious.

I don’t want to jar my body so I’m taking baby steps and taking it slow.  I am trying to listen to what my body is telling me especially when it comes to food and physical activity.  I don’t want to push my body too far.  So if you’ll notice, I only did 15 minutes walking today and I can almost hear some of you saying tut-tut upon reading what I ate for lunch.  But I felt really good today–relaxed and peaceful and happy, as if nothing could shake me.  With this positive attitude, I am hoping that some inspiration will strike me in the next few days about life and work.

What were your positive thoughts today?

Gentle Breezes,

Corvina

In The Blink of An Eye

Life is available only in the present moment. If you abandon the present moment you cannot live the moments of your daily life deeply. 

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Fleeting.  That’s what struck me as I thought about life.  I had just come from the airport to see off a dear friend who was going home after a year’s stint in Beijing.  As my younger daughter and I were riding the cab home from the airport, I was thinking how we had traveled this same route when we first arrived in Beijing.  I remember how we had been in awe at being in another country.  We had tried to take in everything we saw as our car whizzed along the highway at almost midnight that memorable night.  It had been Natalia’s first time to see snow. That had been six years ago.  Just like that, six years had passed. And in just six years, so many changes have happened. In my life.  In Beijing.  In the world.

Fleeting.  Fragile.  Time and life.  Come to think of it, there is actually so little time for all the things we’d like to do, see, and accomplish in this life.  Yet, we squander time away as if it were some trivial, disposable commodity.  Yet, once you’ve thrown it away, you can never get time back.  It made me ponder on a line in the movie “Source Code.” “What would you do if you knew you only had one minute left to live?” asked Captain Colter Stevens to Christina Warren.  People have said so often: Live each day as if it were your last.  Maybe we can value life and the people in our lives better by upping it a notch and saying:  Live each minute as if it were your last.

Gentle Breezes,

Corvina

Balance.

Since I’m on a quest to find balance,

I decided I’d take a look around and see what other people have to say about it.  I really liked what Allen White (Adult Discipleship Pastor at Brookwood Church in Simpsonville, South Carolina) wrote in his blog about living a balanced life.  He said that “… a balanced life would be:

The cover of Allen White's study guide

 Rested, not exhausted

Calm, not rushed

Focused, not scattered

Purposeful, not pointless

Confident, not insecure

Healthy, not harried

Gaining wisdom, not repeating mistakes

Closer to God, not growing distant

Most of us are balancing more than two things. When we go from two objects to three objects or more, we have suddenly gone from balancing to juggling. Isn’t that how we feel? Every day we have to keep a certain number of balls up in the air or plates spinning. If we drop a ball, then it seems like the whole thing will come crashing down.

So, a balanced life is not about giving equal time and energy to every aspect of your life. Some parts need more and some need less. Balance truly is giving every part what it needs when it needs it and having a little left over for ourselves. A balanced life relies on focus.”

Think about it.

Gentle Breezes,

Corvina